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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Sniffles

SO Brian and I are just getting over some colds that we got this past weekend. Not sure exactly how we got them but mine put me flat on my back. Luckily we are both beginning to feel better just in time for the fun of this week to begin. Today I went with my sister to Good Things Utah. We had so much fun. The hosts are so funny in real life. They talk about some of the funniest things and are really who you see on TV. It was fun to go and get our picture taken with them. I didn't bring my cord to upload it though. :( Then later this week Brian and I get to go visit with his Aunt Sharon and cousin Holly who are up visiting from Arizona. We are so excited to go see them and get to hear more stories of their family from the last year. On Friday as long as we don't have a shy baby again we get to have a boy or girl party for Brian's brother Mike and his wife Kira. We are so excited to find out about their Maybe Baby especially since the pathway to it is getting better looking everyday. The power of prayer in action for sure. Saturday is our friend's wedding. I am excited to go to their sealing since it will be the first one Brian and I will have gone to since our own. We then will head to my family's reunion...the Annual Hot Dog Roast. I love this time of year. I am just praying their is no rain!!! Then Monday is Memorial day and we have a full day of events with both families. We are excited but with so much going on the time is going to just fly by. This week and next week will be gone before we even have an idea what happened to them. Oh well, we will be having fun and that is all the matters.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Laughs and Giggles

I have been at work today for six hours so far today and still have awhile before I leave. This is when you surf the internet and find funny things. So I hope everyone gets a little giggle, snort, laugh, or something out of some of these funny signs (warning this post is on the long side):
Funny Hotel Signs

Visitors are expected to complain at the office
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
*
The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
*
Please bathe inside the tub.
*
Do not go out except emergency.
*
At the end of a hotel legal disclaimer:
The management of this hotel can not be held.
*
From an elevator
DO NOT USE ELEVATOR WHILE CAUSING FIRE.
*
Sign in a hotel parking garage:
Please get a punch at window.
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.
If you are not a person to do such thing
is please not to read notis.
*
On a hotel fire extinguisher:
Cease Fire.

Funny Signs on Products


On a box of fine tissues:
Skin will be touched softly and gently by
100% high quality pulp.
*
On a shampoo bottle:
Use repeatedly for severe damage.
*
On the packaging of a sir fry pan.
Do not use mental tools for prolonging
the life of the pan.
*
From the packaging of a brand of medicine.

Expiration date: 2 years

*

On another bottle of medicine.

Known to cure itching, colds, stomachs,
brains, and other diseases.

*

On a sports drink bottle:

Pocari Sweat Refreshment water


Funny restaurant Signs


Our great food will never leave you!
*
Please leave a pet outside.
*
It will take about 1 minute to fix a hot drink.
Please wail.
*
We serve people like you as good food!
*
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
*
Special today -- no ice cream.
*
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE
OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
*
“Colorful dining space surrounded by stained glasses."
*
Sign in a cafeteria
Please keep chair on position and keep table cleaned after dying.


Other Funny Signs


On a cash register:
Sorry. We can not change.
*
Outside a tailor shop:
Ladies have fits upstairs.
*
In an advertisement by a dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
*
In an airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
*
In a zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have
any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
*
Babysitting ad by college students:
"Please call us! We will provide you with any emergency."
*
Private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
*
Signs on trash cans in an amusement
park
PLEASE WASTE
*
Sign in a train station:
For restrooms, go back toward your behind.
*
A flush button in subway toilet:
You lady will push this button before leaving.

*
From the cover of a notebook
My heart is very flammable
when I see your beautiful eyes.
*
River highway sign:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER,
THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

Funny Newspaper Headlines




Milk drinkers are turning to powder

*

Farmer bill dies in house

*

Iraqi head seeks arms

*

Eye Drops Off Shelf

*

Squad helps dog bite victim

*

Dealers will hear car talk at noon

*

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

*

Miners refuse to work after death

*

Two Soviet ships collide - one dies

*

Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

*

Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy

*

If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while

*

Cold wave linked to temperatures

*

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say

*

Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

*

British Left Waffles on Falkan Islands

Funny Courtroom Mistakes
Based on Actual Courtroom Trial Transcripts of Lawyers asking witnesses questions

The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

*

I show you exhibit 3 and ask you
if you recognize that picture.
That's me.
Were you present when that picture was taken?

*

What is your name?

Ernestine McDowell.

And what is your marital status?

Fair.


*

So you were gone until you returned?

*
She had three children, right?
Yes.
How many were boys?
None.
Were there girls?

*

You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

*

You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
Yes.
And these stairs, did they go up also?

*

Were you alone or by yourself.

*

Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

*

Have you lived in this town all your life?
Not yet.

*


Were you present in court this morning
when you were sworn in?


*

Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

No. This is how I dress when I go to work.

*

The Judge: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information and prejudice from your minds, if you have any.

*

When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?

*

And lastly, Gary, all your responses must

be oral O.K.?
What school do you go to?

Oral.

How old are you?

Oral.

*

What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

She is my daughter.

Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

*

Could you see him from where you were standing?

I could see his head.

And where was his head?

Just above his shoulders.

Funny English Mistakes


Funny mistakes are from new English students. If you have ever tried to learn a new language, you know how hard it can be! We will all make many, many mistakes, and some will sound a little funny to native speakers. That's OK- It's part of learning. And a good sense of humor can help us have a good attitude and enjoy ourselves while we learn. So, enjoy these actual funny mistakes from students I have taught.

A Funny Love Song
Compiled from lyrics of love songs translated
into English by ESL students.

From morning’s glaring sun to the smelly afternoon,



You are always inside my lonely brain.



I hope we meet in an accident very soon.



My heart will not stop hemorrhaging for you.



The night you squeezed me I visited heaven.



Your love flies me swiftly into a mountain.


You make my heart sour.

One day, you will startle yourself and say “oh no!
Why did I walk the opposite direction of him?



Like the fishes need the ocean beach, I need you.



When you kiss me, you make my blood evaporate.



Your lovely, unwrinkly skin requests my attention

You will always be my lemon moon ray lover.


Politics and Government

The second Word War had much propaganda

*
At that time, one of the most important weapons was the rocket lawn chair.

*

The President got off the plane and gave a big kiss to the first ladder.

*

The police were attacked by a large group
of angry mops.

*
The American President is very powerful. For one thing, he chooses the supreme coat judges.



Science

A bottom dweller is a fish that mostly dwells on bottoms.

*

Do you know what “elevation” means?

Yes. It means we all came from Dinosaur eggs.

*

Isaac Newton was the first discoverer of gravy.

*

The ocean is usually located near the coast.

*

The unihorn is an animal that has always been extinct

*

We sent some robots to mars but they
refused to come back

*

There are many arguments how was the universe made. Some astrolomers belive in the big band theory.
*

There are still plenty of fossil fools.

*

The article said there are only maybe five thousand beers left in B.C. This is a very serious problem… I think maybe we should only let very small people go beer hunting every year.

Funny Mistakes about
The Fur Trade


All over Europe people wanted more animal hair.

*

The Hudson Bay company was found in the
Canada woods.

*

Fur hunters catch furry animals, wash them,
and dry them, and then sell them for women
who wear them at fancy parties.

*

Many people in England wore beavers
and other big rodents like the French.

*

Most beavers and foxes died and went to Europe.

*

The new pioneer people ate most of the barffalo.

*

Fortunately, now most people have fake fur.


A Day of Tutoring


Should I have a coma in the middle of this sentence?

*

I am sorry I am later.
It took me ten minutes to ignite my car.

*

Am I making P correctly?

*

Did you have an accident?
When I was skiing, a tree got in front of me
and hit me hard!

*

You called at the perfect time.
I just walked into a door.

*

Please don't shoot so many people in my country.
What?
Please don't shoot people in my country very often.
Could you say it really slowly?
Police don't shoot people in my country very often.

*

I'm sorry, but I couldn't write my essay.
My roommate had a toothache this morning.
So you couldn't write your essay?
Yes! She was swelling and decaying badly!

*
What did you do this weekend?
We went to a Karaoke bar.
Did you sing?
Yes. I was shy but I strongly did it.
What did you sing?
"You are the wind beneath my wigs."

Funny Weather Mistakes


This morning, I was walking outside,
when suddenly a big shower fell on me!

*
Today the waiter is cold and wet and a little windy.

*

When a volcan explodes, millions
of tons of larva can bury a city.

*

I was very tired last night
so my friend let me crash into his apartment.

*

We have a big problem at my house.
What is it?
Our toilet is out of odor. I'm a little upset.


Parents


My mother is an inferior decorator.

*

My father is a highly rank
government official.

*

My mother wants me to marry a good, successful man,
but I want to marry my boyfriend.

*

My father has to wear expensive
business dresses to work everyday.

*

I always ate lunch at school.
But every day my mother made me suffer.

*

My father is one of my favorite parents.



Health

Last night, when I ate dinner I started joking.
My friend hit my back very hard
until I stopped.
I was so lucky he was there!

*

My shoes smell bad.
I think they have athletes food in them.

*

My leg has been breaking for three weeks.

*
I probably should have gone to the doctor
one ear ago.


How To Sky Dive in the Ocean



I know how to sky dive in the ocean.

*

You have to put big bottles on your back
so you can have good breath.

*

You should have big rubber feet.

*

At this time, put the glass over your face
so your eyes don’t get salted.

*

Then you can jump on the ocean.

*

Try not to get water in your snozzle.

*

This is how you can drown in water without being dangerous.

School


Unfortunately, the school board was forced to
cut fifteen percent off all teachers.


*

Every day I study hardly.

*

If I study really hard, I will graduate in 2004 years.

*

I am studied hard in science class.

Food


Do you like this food?
I made it from scratching!

*


I never liked mushrooms,
but now they are starting to grow in me.

*

My friends visited last night and
we served a nice pig dinner.

*

Are you hungry? I have dirty toes.
You have what?
Dirty toes. In my back pack.
Um, can you spell that?
Maybe D-O-R-I-T-O-S. Do you
Want to try one?
No thanks. I'm not so hungry
right now.

*

Next, Put the cabbages in salt water.
Then sit in the sink until the morning.

*

Don't forget to insult the soup.


Weddings

I really believe our wedding will last until we die.

*

What does it mean:
"I would like to propose to some toast?"

*

If he is really the best man,
why isn't she marrying him instead?

*

The groom was wearing
A very nice croissant.

*

He was so nervous, he suddenly started
to paint in front of everybody!

*

He lifted the veal off her face
and gave her a big kiss.

*

I think she is really glad she got marinated.

Other Funny Mistakes


He had such a worm heart.

*

The deafened ant entered the court room.
*

He will spend at least fifty years going to a prison

*

Once I tripped all the way to Hawaii.

*

Do you believe in Cod?

*

Our church has smaller members every week.
*

How far should I tip the driver?

If you read all the way through it I hope you got some good laughs and had a fun time reading like I did. It sure helped lift my mood.

Sore muscles

Brian and I have a bet going on for the summer. I get the great (or lousy depending on the day) side of it where I get to work out every day. (Which is exactly what I want to do any way) Brian's side of the bet gets to buy me the swimsuit I have been needing for a few years if I can workout everyday for a month (Sundays off of course). Good deal for me (and know I am the one that came up with the idea). Brian doesn't think I can do it but here I am at work sore from my great workout yesterday and this morning and from a tense night sleep since it was my first night without Brian. I am on track to getting my swimsuit....I just have to find a cute one. :( Brian started his anatomy class yesterday and I know it is going to be a very stressful summer for Brian. He has class Monday nights for four hours. That is a ton of information and he is feeling overwhelmed after the first class. His first test is next week so keep him in your prayers. We need a good grade out of this class this year so we can graduate and move on (to San Diego maybe???). We are already planning for the future. Last week is when the real workouts were suppose to begin but if you have ever done some serious deep cleaning for hours on end you can understand how working out wasn't going to happen. Although Brian and I both worked forty hours last week it felt like a "break" or a "vacation" since we got to see each other everyday and had the nights off to just cuddle together. Best deal ever! Now we just get to wait for the check to come and hope that Brian gets the job he just applied for so he can quit his job at the junction since his power hungry boss made us both have a miserable day yesterday and today. The joys of working....(sigh)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Work Blues and Fires

Brian has to come into work tonight for one of the most ridiculous orders yet. Luckily we get paid for it but I feel it is a waste of time. We are up here so late tonight because we went to the community fire event in Wellsville hosted by Brian's brother in law. It was so much fun to go and play with fire in a safe productive way. We learned lots and had fun helping out our nieces and nephews and keeping the one that loves fires away from the actual fire.

Putting out the fire.


They were so excited to be there, even though it was freezing.

I didn't get one of Brian and I since we got put in charge of these three kids for a second and then tried to get some fun pictures of them putting out the fire.
One a quick side note Brian and I are totally done with our finals!!! Yea! The best part of that is that we both actually did really good this semester and pulled some sweet GPAs.
Now if only the sun would come out and warm Logan up!!!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Picture Perfect

I stole my dad's nice camera almost two weeks ago and I have been having a splendid time with it. I have been doing pictures in between storms and whenever I had anyone ask if I could. Almost everything I have been taking is for Mother's Day so I have a lot of gifts to get out. I wanted to post a taste of the pictures I have been doing and how I have been changing the colors and such but my computer won't let me get onto google and all the pictures are on it and Brian needed the jump drive last. So here are a few that Brian took when we did some on Saturday. These aren't the only ones I have done and I'd share some other ones I have on the little camera but they might end up being a surprise present so I can't blow that too early. :)

I love this guy's expressions!


We had a hard time getting everyone to give true smiles but it is still cute.


This was such a pretty spot especially when you contrast it.


He is so smart and set up almost all his pictures himself, he just wanted his own place.

I still have a few more surprises to finish and to get some more engagements done. With the weather being so nice hopefully I can fit people in around the extra hours I am working. I am willing to do any pictures for anyone just so you know.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Love Like Crazy

I heard this song the other day when I was on my way home from work and loved the lyrics especially the chorus. It reminded me of some advice I was given while Brian and I were planning our wedding the lady knew what she was talking about.



Let me know what you think!

Summer Time!!

So it is finals week. I have one final down and one to go. Brian has three to still go but will be done with one tomorrow. We are both just so excited for it to be summer and to have a little time to relax. Brian will be taking a class this summer, round two on Anatomy since we lost some time in it with our honeymoon that set him too far behind to catch back up like we thought he would be able to. Oh well though this summer he will ace it for sure! Anyway, other then that we are trying to decide what else this summer will bring for us. Jan will be coming home, Grant will be getting blessed and sealed, my sister will be moving to Arizona, and Brian will be gone every Monday and Tuesday all summer. It will be pretty crazy.
Brian and I are jump starting our summer by doing a week long job of cleaning Oakridge which starts next week. A long crazy week of cleaning and to make up for the hours I am going to miss I am working like crazy this week since they offered extra hours to those who wanted them. (Luckily I responded first giving me first dibs to a good amount of them!) This will give Brian and I money to possible go on a fun vacation or to pay off our car. I don't like the fact that we have to grow up and the responsible thing isn't what you really want to do. I sometimes hate growing up. :( But I love lots of other things about growing up I haven't decided which side has the greater pros yet though. Luckily summer is a time to give in to child-like behaviors and just relax and have fun in the sun while doing the grown-up things of working and going to school. Which is why I am so excited it is finally summer time!!